After two years off and on again employment I thought my big break had come. After six interviews and an all expense paid trip to Washington state, I was sure I would get the position. So when the recruiter called me the following day I was expecting to hear, 'we cannot wait for you to come be part of our team' instead the words 'we are moving forward with other candidates' shot my confidence full of holes. My heart sank. Anger smouldered and I started to feel God betrayed me...until I remembered my Bible reading two weeks ago.
"Then the Lord said to Moses, “Look, I’m going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they will gather food, and when they prepare it, there will be twice as much as usual.” Exodus 16:4-5 NLT
The people of Israel were in the wilderness and constantly complaining. They felt betrayed by God and instead of having a positive attitude, they chose to bicker and dwell on the past. Ultimately, their pessimistic attitudes prevented them from reaching the Promised Land in a timely manner. Much like the Israelites, I have displayed my own displeasures and disobedience and through selfish actions have put myself first and often times have closed doors that God had opened for me. And even after putting myself first and getting in the way, He has still poured out blessings upon my family. The Lord has truly shown me patience and humility during this season and while it is not the most exciting time, I am learning a lot and am eternally grateful for His provision and protection.
We are truly blessed and have learned to live on less. Going from a job making more than $70,000 a year to living on an unemployment income of $435 a week has definitely taught us to be faithful with less. We have had to learn to stretch our money and live on less. While this definitely limits your extracurricular activities and eating out it teaches self-discipline and creativity. One of the most important lessons I have learned during this season is that in order to truly see the hand of provision from God you must truly allow Him to have full control. You cannot lie down and quit and just expect God to give you something because you are one of His children. He expects us to put forth an effort. When you are out of work, you have to look for work and be willing to put away your pride and find employment. We must take care of our families and provide for them; especially if there is no money coming in.
When I finally received that call from the recruiter, even though it crushed me and left a sour taste of disappointment in my mouth, I quickly was reminded that when one door closes another will open. This closed door was an answered prayer and God reminded me that He had something else in mind for me. I remembered something that God had spoken to me over 2 weeks ago and He said that I had to quit trying to do it myself and let Him take control. I had spent countless hours trying to get the job through my works and had drained myself to a point of complete frustration and doubt. I finally surrendered all of my efforts to God and told Him I was done and He was going to have to take over.
It came down to either finding employment or ultimately suffer even more difficult times with no income. Last Thursday I walked into a local restaurant and after meeting with the General Manager, I was offered a position on the spot. Finally, an opportunity for employment. While it is not the ideal position, pay or hours that I would want, it is no longer what I want, but where God wants me. I am truly blessed to have employment. God knows what we need and is providing the avenues for this to happen. He is still teaching me to trust in Him and to let Him line things up. I know that greater things are yet to come and I am excited to see what He has in store for us next. If we truly trust Him, He will see us through these times of wilderness and guide us to the promised land.
1 comment:
It really makes me think about what success is and what it isn't. The world views success as the number of digits on your paycheck and how comfortable your home is. How attractive or winsome one is. God looks at success in how closely we resemble Christ. Humility. Patience. Love. Obedience to God, serving others. We can't see where we're headed but we know wherever it is, it's what he's doing in our hearts that's more important than worldly success. Good post.
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