Day 3

I didn't write anything yesterday mainly because I didn't have anything to write, but also I was busy working on electrical outlets and drywall. I was ready to go to bed when I finished my work last night and decided to just rest instead of writing. Today I went to church hungry for the Lord and expecting to hear from Him and guess what? When we hunger and thirst for the Lord, He does not disappoint. When we come expecting, God shows up. I went expecting and the Lord had a word for me. I had a difficult time getting into worship and then felt the need to leave before the message started because my flesh didn't want to hear what pastor was going to minister on.

I am so glad I don't always follow my flesh and I learn to walk and listen more and more to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Had I left early today I would have missed out. The message was a continuation of last Sunday's message. It was mainly on following the call of God on our lives and listening to His voice and not others. There are too many scripture references to even begin to list, but the main one that was touched on last week and today was John 21:15-22 where Jesus was speaking to Peter and asked if he loved Him and Peter of course replied that he did....the scripture goes on to tell how Jesus asks Peter twice more if he loves Him and in the end Jesus wanted to see where Peter's commitment was and how dedicated to Him he was. He wanted to see what Peter was made of. Pastor spoke on different loves we have and what keeps us from truly loving God. We love stuff, we love people, we love money more often than we love the Lord. We often say we Love Him, but we don't really show it. We say we Love Him, but we aren't being completely honest. We often say things that we don't really mean or cannot commit to. We say that we will serve the Lord in every possible way and that we are ready to be used by Him, but then when He tells us to go somewhere or do something we make excuses. We say we want to spend more time with Him and get into His word, but then when we get home we spend all of our time watching tv or being on the Internet. We say we want to hear from Him, but then we don't fast and pray and seek His voice. The word says to "be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.

Our pastor stated that if he had always listened to his mom, that he would probably have gone to Presbyterian seminary and have been a presbyterian minister, etc. He stated that we must love God more than those around us. We must listen to Him first and foremost and if God is speaking something to us and other's don't agree with it we must follow what He is telling us to do. We cannot always do what is popular or expected. We must be committed to Him and be different. After the message pastor encouraged us to come forward if we wanted to have prayer and hands laid upon us to seek God deeper and go to a higher place with Him. Again, my flesh said I needed to go and leave, but I didn't. I stayed and am glad I did. As I was praying and asking the Lord to just show me what He wants for me and to be more committed in my walk, several began to pray for me and ministering to me. Long story short, one of our elders began to intercede and pray heavily in the spirit for me and then God gave him a word for me. He said that the Lord is forming a stronger backbone in me and that I will walk in a newness and have a boldness upon my life that I have never had before or knew that I had within. I will see things not with my eyes, but with the father's eyes and have a deeper understanding what is around me. There will be things I don't even need to ask for because God will already provide it for me. The majority of what I heard and received was the boldness I will walk in. That confirms some things that have already been spoken over me. I know that there is a boldness that is in me and that is going to be released. Many will not like this, but the Lord has spoken it over me and I will listen and obey.

I have continued to be faithful in my fast from Facebook and television and will continue to fast from these things as well as 1 meal a day to seek the Lord more clearly and hear the voice of the good shepard. I have noticed more of a hunger for Him as I have fasted from these things and know that it is only going to get stronger before my trip to Israel.

It is my desire to hunger more after Him. To let go of my grasp on things and let God be in control.