I didn't write anything yesterday mainly because I didn't have anything to write, but also I was busy working on electrical outlets and drywall. I was ready to go to bed when I finished my work last night and decided to just rest instead of writing. Today I went to church hungry for the Lord and expecting to hear from Him and guess what? When we hunger and thirst for the Lord, He does not disappoint. When we come expecting, God shows up. I went expecting and the Lord had a word for me. I had a difficult time getting into worship and then felt the need to leave before the message started because my flesh didn't want to hear what pastor was going to minister on.
I am so glad I don't always follow my flesh and I learn to walk and listen more and more to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Had I left early today I would have missed out. The message was a continuation of last Sunday's message. It was mainly on following the call of God on our lives and listening to His voice and not others. There are too many scripture references to even begin to list, but the main one that was touched on last week and today was John 21:15-22 where Jesus was speaking to Peter and asked if he loved Him and Peter of course replied that he did....the scripture goes on to tell how Jesus asks Peter twice more if he loves Him and in the end Jesus wanted to see where Peter's commitment was and how dedicated to Him he was. He wanted to see what Peter was made of. Pastor spoke on different loves we have and what keeps us from truly loving God. We love stuff, we love people, we love money more often than we love the Lord. We often say we Love Him, but we don't really show it. We say we Love Him, but we aren't being completely honest. We often say things that we don't really mean or cannot commit to. We say that we will serve the Lord in every possible way and that we are ready to be used by Him, but then when He tells us to go somewhere or do something we make excuses. We say we want to spend more time with Him and get into His word, but then when we get home we spend all of our time watching tv or being on the Internet. We say we want to hear from Him, but then we don't fast and pray and seek His voice. The word says to "be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.
Our pastor stated that if he had always listened to his mom, that he would probably have gone to Presbyterian seminary and have been a presbyterian minister, etc. He stated that we must love God more than those around us. We must listen to Him first and foremost and if God is speaking something to us and other's don't agree with it we must follow what He is telling us to do. We cannot always do what is popular or expected. We must be committed to Him and be different. After the message pastor encouraged us to come forward if we wanted to have prayer and hands laid upon us to seek God deeper and go to a higher place with Him. Again, my flesh said I needed to go and leave, but I didn't. I stayed and am glad I did. As I was praying and asking the Lord to just show me what He wants for me and to be more committed in my walk, several began to pray for me and ministering to me. Long story short, one of our elders began to intercede and pray heavily in the spirit for me and then God gave him a word for me. He said that the Lord is forming a stronger backbone in me and that I will walk in a newness and have a boldness upon my life that I have never had before or knew that I had within. I will see things not with my eyes, but with the father's eyes and have a deeper understanding what is around me. There will be things I don't even need to ask for because God will already provide it for me. The majority of what I heard and received was the boldness I will walk in. That confirms some things that have already been spoken over me. I know that there is a boldness that is in me and that is going to be released. Many will not like this, but the Lord has spoken it over me and I will listen and obey.
I have continued to be faithful in my fast from Facebook and television and will continue to fast from these things as well as 1 meal a day to seek the Lord more clearly and hear the voice of the good shepard. I have noticed more of a hunger for Him as I have fasted from these things and know that it is only going to get stronger before my trip to Israel.
It is my desire to hunger more after Him. To let go of my grasp on things and let God be in control.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Day 1
Well today was the official start day of my fast from most technology and distractions and it hasn't gone as well as I would like, but what can you do with kids? They like to watch their cartoon shows in the mornings, etc. Today Michele and Alexis had Doctor's appointments in Ada, so they were gone for the majority of the day. Michele actually got another ultrasound and got some more pics of our little peanut. He/She is getting much bigger and makes me excited for November when that little one will be born. So, Micah and I stayed at the house and of course he watched some tv this morning, but for the most part the TV has been off today and so it hasn't been too bad. I would prefer to not even get on the computer during this time and am praying that I can limit my time as much as possible. I haven't done very well today, but when you are looking for employment, you have to be on it. I am going to try to limit it as much as I can and do what I have to and my updates here and be done with it for each day.
I am also desiring to fast from one meal a day for the first part of this fast and I was going to fast my lunch today, but decided to fast my dinner since our Youth Ministry is every Friday night and they serve pizza. I am going to fast my pizza tonight and spend time praying and interceding for the Youth that they will experience God in a new way. The Holy Spirit has been showing up in major ways and these "street" kids are being changed. God is so good.
God continues to amaze me even without a job. As I picked up the mail and I looked through it and found a direct deposit slip from my former employer and was curious to know what it was for. When I opened it up, it was a direct deposit for my commissions check. I didn't even think i would be given any more bonuses for my position as they had decided to rule them out. On top of this, I received my last paycheck in addition to all the finances I received last week with my vacation paid out to me. God has definitely been blessing us financially. I have lost jobs before, but never have I been so blessed financially. I am seeing God work in amazing ways and He is stretching my faith more and more every day. I have a peace in my spirit and am not even worried about my job situation. My God is bigger than this whole thing and He knows what is in store and what He has planned.
So I will continue to praise my GOD! He is faithful always! He blesses His sons and daughters and has called us for such a time as this. I will continue to pray for direction and guidance during this time and will seek Him for everything.
I know that God will continue to speak as long as I am willing to listen to Him.
I will trust in Him with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding.
I am also desiring to fast from one meal a day for the first part of this fast and I was going to fast my lunch today, but decided to fast my dinner since our Youth Ministry is every Friday night and they serve pizza. I am going to fast my pizza tonight and spend time praying and interceding for the Youth that they will experience God in a new way. The Holy Spirit has been showing up in major ways and these "street" kids are being changed. God is so good.
God continues to amaze me even without a job. As I picked up the mail and I looked through it and found a direct deposit slip from my former employer and was curious to know what it was for. When I opened it up, it was a direct deposit for my commissions check. I didn't even think i would be given any more bonuses for my position as they had decided to rule them out. On top of this, I received my last paycheck in addition to all the finances I received last week with my vacation paid out to me. God has definitely been blessing us financially. I have lost jobs before, but never have I been so blessed financially. I am seeing God work in amazing ways and He is stretching my faith more and more every day. I have a peace in my spirit and am not even worried about my job situation. My God is bigger than this whole thing and He knows what is in store and what He has planned.
So I will continue to praise my GOD! He is faithful always! He blesses His sons and daughters and has called us for such a time as this. I will continue to pray for direction and guidance during this time and will seek Him for everything.
I know that God will continue to speak as long as I am willing to listen to Him.
I will trust in Him with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
40 days and counting
40 days from tomorrow I will be headed to Dallas, Texas to catch a flight to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to catch an even longer flight to Tel Aviv, Israel. I can't believe that the trip is almost here and I know before I know it months will have flown by. I am doing something that I have never done and that is to go abroad. I am going to be traveling to Jerusalem, Israel with 18 other men and women who are absolutely in love with Jesus and we are going to share the love of Christ in the same areas where Jesus walked and taught. I knows time have definitely changed, but God has not. He is the same yesterday, today and forever more.
I am not going to prove a point or anything crazy like that. I am going because the one who gave me life has placed a calling on my life. That calling is to serve Him and to be a minister of the gospel. That calling includes sharing the gospel everywhere across this great world. While I know that I can share the gospel right here in Oklahoma...I can also share it across the world as well. The Word of God says GO! and preach the gospel unto all the ends of the earth...from one corner to the other. It did not say to just stay in my comfort zone and where I live, if it did, that would be too easy. We are to stretch ourselves and see what God wants to do with us. He wants to use us in so many ways, but many times He cannot because we have allowed distractions and our own pride to get in the way of His will.
I am done satisfying my own flesh and my own desires. I am done trying to make everyone else happy. I am done doing what the world wants me to do. I am done. It is no longer about me. It is about Him. I must give up myself in order for Him to rise up in me. I must take up my cross daily and follow Him. I am ready to lay down my pride, my desires and sacrifice everything. In order to gain something from Christ, we must be willing to give up something that means something to us. That is why fasting is so important. Fasting is a way for us to get quiet before the Lord and listen. It is a way to mute the distractions and to silence the voices around us. It is a time for us to lay down ourselves so that Christ might rise up in us. If we want to hear from Him and to have Him do something for us...we must give up something that means something to us.
So for the next 40 days before my trip to Israel I will be fasting from things that take my time away from the Lord. I will be fasting from Facebook, television, video games, a good percentage of the Internet other than what I have to use for job searches, etc. and some food. This is to get my mind off the world and more on Him. I want to hear what He has to say.
Not only do I want to hear what He has to say about Israel and the trip, I want to hear what He says about my future job and where He is taking me. I know there will be several who consider me crazy or insane for going on this trip without a job in place, etc. I have news for them, I am still going. God has confirmed for me to go and I am not letting some challenges keep me from what God has for me. God has begun to orchestrate a new beginning in my life. Where one door closed, another is opening. I no longer see myself apart of the corporate world, but apart of the ministry. Where He leads, only He knows right now, but I am definitely seeking Him and His face.
As I was reading this evening I came across a prayer in Jeremiah 32:17-21 that speaks volumes. Jeremiah is praying for understanding from the Lord, much as I am praying for understanding as well. In a nutshell the prayer states that nothing is too hard for God. We should never sell God out and think He cannot accomplish something. The creator of the universe can do anything He so desires. He wants to see so many powerful blessings flow through us, but we must ask and we must seek. As I continued to read I came across one of my favorite passages and it is Jeremiah 33:3, "Call unto me and I will answer thee and I will show you great and mighty things you don't yet know." God just wants to hear from His sons and daughters.
Lord, I am calling upon You and seeking You for wisdom and understanding. I don't know it all. Open my eyes so that I may see, open my ears so that I may hear, open my mind so that I may understand the things You have laid before me. I ask that you would show me the things I don't know already and show me a glimpse of your glory. I want more of You and need more of You. I give you all of me and am willing to lay down my life and sacrifice everything for You.
In the name above all other names!
Amen
I am not going to prove a point or anything crazy like that. I am going because the one who gave me life has placed a calling on my life. That calling is to serve Him and to be a minister of the gospel. That calling includes sharing the gospel everywhere across this great world. While I know that I can share the gospel right here in Oklahoma...I can also share it across the world as well. The Word of God says GO! and preach the gospel unto all the ends of the earth...from one corner to the other. It did not say to just stay in my comfort zone and where I live, if it did, that would be too easy. We are to stretch ourselves and see what God wants to do with us. He wants to use us in so many ways, but many times He cannot because we have allowed distractions and our own pride to get in the way of His will.
I am done satisfying my own flesh and my own desires. I am done trying to make everyone else happy. I am done doing what the world wants me to do. I am done. It is no longer about me. It is about Him. I must give up myself in order for Him to rise up in me. I must take up my cross daily and follow Him. I am ready to lay down my pride, my desires and sacrifice everything. In order to gain something from Christ, we must be willing to give up something that means something to us. That is why fasting is so important. Fasting is a way for us to get quiet before the Lord and listen. It is a way to mute the distractions and to silence the voices around us. It is a time for us to lay down ourselves so that Christ might rise up in us. If we want to hear from Him and to have Him do something for us...we must give up something that means something to us.
So for the next 40 days before my trip to Israel I will be fasting from things that take my time away from the Lord. I will be fasting from Facebook, television, video games, a good percentage of the Internet other than what I have to use for job searches, etc. and some food. This is to get my mind off the world and more on Him. I want to hear what He has to say.
Not only do I want to hear what He has to say about Israel and the trip, I want to hear what He says about my future job and where He is taking me. I know there will be several who consider me crazy or insane for going on this trip without a job in place, etc. I have news for them, I am still going. God has confirmed for me to go and I am not letting some challenges keep me from what God has for me. God has begun to orchestrate a new beginning in my life. Where one door closed, another is opening. I no longer see myself apart of the corporate world, but apart of the ministry. Where He leads, only He knows right now, but I am definitely seeking Him and His face.
As I was reading this evening I came across a prayer in Jeremiah 32:17-21 that speaks volumes. Jeremiah is praying for understanding from the Lord, much as I am praying for understanding as well. In a nutshell the prayer states that nothing is too hard for God. We should never sell God out and think He cannot accomplish something. The creator of the universe can do anything He so desires. He wants to see so many powerful blessings flow through us, but we must ask and we must seek. As I continued to read I came across one of my favorite passages and it is Jeremiah 33:3, "Call unto me and I will answer thee and I will show you great and mighty things you don't yet know." God just wants to hear from His sons and daughters.
Lord, I am calling upon You and seeking You for wisdom and understanding. I don't know it all. Open my eyes so that I may see, open my ears so that I may hear, open my mind so that I may understand the things You have laid before me. I ask that you would show me the things I don't know already and show me a glimpse of your glory. I want more of You and need more of You. I give you all of me and am willing to lay down my life and sacrifice everything for You.
In the name above all other names!
Amen
Monday, May 25, 2009
Trust in the Lord
This past week has been a very interesting one. Last Monday, I was called by my HR Manager and my new boss, the new VP and was "let go". While it was a bit of a slap in the face, it wasn't completely unexpected. The Lord has been preparing me for this day for the last year and so I have been putting my trust in Him, but not enough. The Lord has been hammering me the last several months and has been confirming and re-confirming that He is our source, not Obama, not corporations, not the world and not big salaries. If we put our focus on these things, we will fail.
The Lord is refocusing my priorities and asking me to put my eyes back on Him. He is desiring me to not look at the desires of my heart, but to look at Him and just worship. He put those desires in my heart and will grant them when I choose to look to Him rather than what He will provide. The Lord is reconfirming the calling He has on my heart. That calling is a calling to be a minister of the gospel. I have received certain confirmations in the past as to what I am supposed to do and they have varied between music ministry and youth ministry.
This past year I begun to follow what the Lord called me to do. I began to work at the Christian school where Alexis attends. Junior High and High School kids is a big time youth ministry. I am entrusted to impart things into these young souls and to train them up in the ways of the Lord. I have felt a peace ever since I went there and started teaching and coaching. God has confirmed that in my heart and only He knows what else will come of it this next year. There are some big opportunities that lie before me, but God spoke to me yesterday and said to be patient. I dont want to rush anything and I want to wait upon the Lord. He will renew my strength. I want to not lean on my own understanding, but to completely trust in the Lord. He is my only source, He is my strength. He is my strength and song. He has become my salvation.
While I am at a crossroads, I am at such peace. I know I have a family to take care of, but i also know that I have a God who is bigger than any circumstance or issue that I face. My God shall supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory. I know that He will provide all that we need. Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. Nothing will I fear!
I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do in the next couple of weeks and months. I know that the joy of the Lord is my strength and I will pull from that as often as I need to. I am not going to just sit on my hands and do nothing, but I am going to sit, listen and wait upon the Lord.
Jobs will come and jobs will go, as will the things of this earth, but nothing shall seperate me from the love of Christ. His love endures forever!
The Lord is refocusing my priorities and asking me to put my eyes back on Him. He is desiring me to not look at the desires of my heart, but to look at Him and just worship. He put those desires in my heart and will grant them when I choose to look to Him rather than what He will provide. The Lord is reconfirming the calling He has on my heart. That calling is a calling to be a minister of the gospel. I have received certain confirmations in the past as to what I am supposed to do and they have varied between music ministry and youth ministry.
This past year I begun to follow what the Lord called me to do. I began to work at the Christian school where Alexis attends. Junior High and High School kids is a big time youth ministry. I am entrusted to impart things into these young souls and to train them up in the ways of the Lord. I have felt a peace ever since I went there and started teaching and coaching. God has confirmed that in my heart and only He knows what else will come of it this next year. There are some big opportunities that lie before me, but God spoke to me yesterday and said to be patient. I dont want to rush anything and I want to wait upon the Lord. He will renew my strength. I want to not lean on my own understanding, but to completely trust in the Lord. He is my only source, He is my strength. He is my strength and song. He has become my salvation.
While I am at a crossroads, I am at such peace. I know I have a family to take care of, but i also know that I have a God who is bigger than any circumstance or issue that I face. My God shall supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory. I know that He will provide all that we need. Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. Nothing will I fear!
I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do in the next couple of weeks and months. I know that the joy of the Lord is my strength and I will pull from that as often as I need to. I am not going to just sit on my hands and do nothing, but I am going to sit, listen and wait upon the Lord.
Jobs will come and jobs will go, as will the things of this earth, but nothing shall seperate me from the love of Christ. His love endures forever!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Out of the mouth of babes
After I brought my daughter home from school yesterday, we were sitting in the living room talking and she shared something with me that I thought was very awesome. It isn't the first time that she has shared something with me like this before, but this time it seemed more "truthful" and "realistic". You want to know what she told me? "i met a boy and i'm gonna get married." No, not really, not that yet, I just had to put that in there to throw you off. :)
What she told me was that God spoke to her during chapel yesterday morning. From what I have heard of the service yesterday morning it was very powerful and so I have no doubt in my mind what she is saying is the truth. While I do believe my daughter tends to exaggerate the truth at times, I know that her heart is pure and she means well.
So I asked her what He said and she told me that He said to "Go and preach the gospel to all the world." I am thinking, AMEN! That is awesome..and then she added this part..."Then He said to go to Colorado." I was like wow, where did that come from? She knows nothing about Colorado, but okay, I am going to take it as gospel truth. Then she proceeded to say that He also said Texas and Mexico. While I am a bit skeptical about the additional "states", I do not doubt that He spoke to her and she heard the voice of our Creator. Children are so pure and so innocent and not influenced by all the things us adults have been that they can hear more clearly.
I continued to ask her questions because I wanted to hear what she had to say. So I asked her what His voice sounded like and she said that it was full of power and then described it as a deep voice and that was it.
It just blows me away what my children will say to me, but here is the important part....I got quiet and listened. Just as the word says, "Be still and know that I am God." You better believe it that I am going to listen to my daughter and hear what she has to say. I know that God can use anyone at any time regardless of the age or situation. It just goes to show you that we need to lean our ears closer to our "little" people because we just may hear something that will change our lives. Jesus loved children and still does and He knows they will listen to anything He says. The more we listen to our children the more we will learn.
Thank you Lord for speaking to our children and revealing your power to them so that we may believe.
Be blessed!
What she told me was that God spoke to her during chapel yesterday morning. From what I have heard of the service yesterday morning it was very powerful and so I have no doubt in my mind what she is saying is the truth. While I do believe my daughter tends to exaggerate the truth at times, I know that her heart is pure and she means well.
So I asked her what He said and she told me that He said to "Go and preach the gospel to all the world." I am thinking, AMEN! That is awesome..and then she added this part..."Then He said to go to Colorado." I was like wow, where did that come from? She knows nothing about Colorado, but okay, I am going to take it as gospel truth. Then she proceeded to say that He also said Texas and Mexico. While I am a bit skeptical about the additional "states", I do not doubt that He spoke to her and she heard the voice of our Creator. Children are so pure and so innocent and not influenced by all the things us adults have been that they can hear more clearly.
I continued to ask her questions because I wanted to hear what she had to say. So I asked her what His voice sounded like and she said that it was full of power and then described it as a deep voice and that was it.
It just blows me away what my children will say to me, but here is the important part....I got quiet and listened. Just as the word says, "Be still and know that I am God." You better believe it that I am going to listen to my daughter and hear what she has to say. I know that God can use anyone at any time regardless of the age or situation. It just goes to show you that we need to lean our ears closer to our "little" people because we just may hear something that will change our lives. Jesus loved children and still does and He knows they will listen to anything He says. The more we listen to our children the more we will learn.
Thank you Lord for speaking to our children and revealing your power to them so that we may believe.
Be blessed!
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